Mental Illness

Doctor. Come warm your bones by the fire,
wash your thick greasy brown hair,
wash the dust and coal off your jeans, only to find they are black and faded.
Your feet must be freezing, your fingers numb.
Isn’t your body exhausted? Why can’t you rest accurately?
Speak truthfully on how you feel, please.
I’m hear to give you shelter;
Don’t you know how to accept help?

Patient. The back of my eyes are burning.
Last time I felt nothing but cold.
I fear some part of me is collaborating with the external forces.
My guts, perpetually sick. My mind, warped. 
I’m out of answers and self-medications
(perhaps I didn’t originate with any).
Please give me some sort of sign,
An answer. Where do I sign for your help?

Lawyer. How do we know your testimony isn’t false?
What proof of sincerity do you have?

Patient. Look at the bags under my eyes.
Why are they so dark? Put some water on them,
Grab the cloth. If it be coal or soot, would it not wash off?
And yet these black curved lines, as if liner of a goth,
will not leave so easily. 
And look at my emotions, see anything?
How could you? They’ve all been frozen away by winter,
Leaving a numb fleshy container with no heart or spirit.

You speak of wanting truth of my pain, of my suffering.
Isn’t it obvious to your eyes? Are you truly that blind
Or do I hide it so well, fortified behind my bones? 
Now my physician, what is your answer--that I may follow it blindly.

Doctor. Judging from your appearance, your head has suffered the most damage.
You did not care for your mental health wisely.
I wish to keep you away from your
assigned environment for several days,
To thaw out your emotions and rest your troubled soul.
Eat a nice meal, find a warm bed, read a good book
Just rest your warn body.

Lawyer. But only stay as long as you need,
Not a minute more. You think this place has large pockets?
Doc, you know we have small finances,
Must you always be so sympathetic to all who enter?
Use your good judgement,
I know you have it. 
I beg you to reconsider. We must use our resources
On those who truly require it.
Not this sappy poet laureate.
His words may be false.

Doctor. And his words may be true.
You say I don’t use my good judgement,
but that is the mistake. I am trained in the ways
To extract bullshit from our employees.
I can read false from truth on faces and eyes
As words on the page of a book.
You think I be sympathetic, well I do care for all our creatures,
But perhaps you are not empathetic enough.
For all you care is the current financial state of this place,
Or perhaps just your own. 
You wring out every dollar you can of others,
Including me. Caring for taxes is no different as a shark attack in open seas.
You are bitten and dragged, the weight of the guilt from the harm,
Perhaps the killing, of those who need aid so desperately
Can pull you down into deep red water
As you struggle for freedom and breath for your lungs.
How can you do what you do?

Lawyer. You claim I dislike loving and caring for other.
I can read people as well,
But high doses of sympathy and love are just as lethal.
Others’ greed can grow when you give free handouts.
Wouldn’t having people walk on you be equally painful?
Or are you too naive to notice because your emotion of care
Blocks your judgement? 
How does giving aid to people work if they continue their dependent habit of taking from you?

Doctor. Oh ye of little faith. I believe,
Sooner or later, said people
Will become aware of their dependence,
Just as the drug addict when he falls to the bottom,
They will see their err.
From here, they grow and evolve and know
The proper time to request help,
And that is one shall give true aid.
You give them a taste,
then dependance,
then realization,
then evolution,
then reception of aid.

Lawyer. But what of those who never kick their malnutritious habits?
Those who always beg for help from others,
And show now attempt to change or realize their error?
They are the parasites attaching themselves to people like you,
Who freely give and give (and don’t you see that too much giving is wrong?).
These parasites will sick you, and those like you, dry
Taking and taking, then you have nothing more to give and they are still uncured.
You must cut them off before they take your good character or anything else of value.
You must recognize the behavior,
As soon as humanly possible.
For it shouldn’t be too impossible to notice these actions and traits they wear.
Wouldn’t you agree? 
How how does the great Giving Tree treat them?

Doctor. Are you so blind to believe people wont change?
We are designed to change:
physically,
mentally,
and emotionally.
We strive for more meaning in our lives,
From those with meaningless existences,
To those who live life the the fullest.
We can see others, then admit we want more;
we want what they have. A want to improve
It’s one of the great human traits we all embody.
But I see you , and those like you,
Only wanting to increase profits and figures,
Financial gain. Looking for other lives
To bring to ruins. But one day,
You shall see yourself as I do,
And have a grand desire to change yourself
And your ways of destruction; to expel your greed
Into the sewers.
Sooner or later, you will have the sight
Patience.

Now, please leave tax man,
For I wish no longer to debate with you.
I grow tired.
As for you my child of illness, what say you?

Patient. I am just as divided as when I entered.
Perhaps the whole world is in the same boat. Always,
Two different views of the same topic,
Two different means to act. How does
One know the truth, the correct way, when
People are created so diversely. Is there even a
Distinct right and wrong with every situation?
More importantly, how does one live in a world
Drowned in ambiguity? 
The entire earth is painted morally gray and
Argues perpetually about the different truths and
Lies. There is nothing purely factual , nothing truly
Paved with correctness,
As long as there are conscious beings present.

The truth my friends, maybe it is out there,
In the farthest reaches of the universe.
Or perhaps said truth is exactly as confused as we.
Moving from day to day, trying to get by;
Learning about us (as we it)
thinking, moving, pacing,
But not sitting still.