Lagging Jealousy

Sick of myself addict.
The Ex returned to home page,
Jet lag fueled rage.


Fear of more debt?
No more justification?
Old memory returned.

Post Battle Analysis

The ghost of the e-girls still haunt my habits.
"I'm feeling fine for the time" runs through my head robotically,
Claiming those claims we are all supposed to say.

The financial planner, in the back of the mind,
Gives an oral presentation with handouts and graphs showing
The quarterly plan from the impulse influence.

Hoping the meeting would bring on physical pain
To force me to be fully aware of how my consequences conspired against me,
And killed the original banker's plan for frugality.

Perhaps being thrown back into the cubical can
Squash the semi-detrimental desire I can't keep justifying.
Maybe it's fine, maybe it's not.

Addiction to Distraction Disorder

Loose focus on the importance.
Don't be patience,
Just change the channels quickly--there's nothing good on anyway.

Pace yourself back and forth, to-and-fro around the room
To keep your heart rate up.
Play and replay massive amounts of action-packed video games
To give yourself an impulsive character about you.

Battery levels are low,
The coffee's effect is waning.
Recharge or just let the power run out completely to a dark, blank screen?

Returners & Stayers

When they go back to the place they came from,
Why do those here still miss and morn them?
They are at peace and in no pain.
The pain and emotions stay with us still here,
As if passed down like an heirloom.

Transform and transfer those feelings back into memories
Of the passed on people.
Continue to live on for them, or as them,
And possibly with them, listening to their
Messages of love and wisdom in whichever
Means of communication form they like to use.

Keep your ears open for listening to all,
Keep the feet walking,
Keep the mind wondering.

You are loved by the ones who created and molded you into the person you are today.

Poetry in Thoughts

The hawk flies away and will be fine; finally left alone and safe.
Yet, why are the helping agents the ones in trouble? Can the eyes
Of the law not see their will, their actions?
Do the ends truly justify the means?

Calm and peace, with a side order of salad to go. Sipping
Tea softly and saying the words you were told to memorize as a child
One at a time, as if a spoken word version of a famous rap song.
There are commas everywhere.

------

Scene change to a desert,
Another hipster place for half-ass meditation.
Snowfall and anticipation don't mix as well as you'd think.
It would be a terrible drink,
But good for short-term memory loss.

And there I was,
Citing 3 advantages about firewalls.

I am a half-punk doofus.

------

The longer time moves on, the further
Away the past is on my mind. Always forgetting
Or never remembering with the purpose to avoid the tears.

I never want to listen to the advice of those promoting
Discipline and Structure.
I'd call them overrated, as a joke.
But even jokes come from a significant amount of truth.
Pious or hedonistic take your pick because the world says living in the middle can't be a choice.
But I've never been one who listens to the voice of reason or popular demand.

Will I always be torn between the light and the dark? -paraphrase of K.R.

You have to travel to the past occasionally to remember where you've been.
As painful as that is for me, it keeps me balanced when I run too far to one side or the other of the
Mandala.