What is America?

A multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, multi-faceted place among the world.
It should be the prime example of humanity - all walks of life and all humans living together.

American is Kansas the band and Kansas the state.
America is Beaonce' and it's The Doors.
America is Langston Hughes, Edgar Allen Poe, and Sherman Alexi.
America is DC and Marvel Comics.
America is Page, AZ, Fargo, ND, and Miami, FL.
America is Star Wars and Star Trek.
America is struggling artist and fortunate sons.
America is CIS and LBGTQ.
America is religious, agnostic, and atheist.
America is HARD CORE politics and apolitical.
America is making fun of Nickelback and also liking Nickelback.
America is people, and people are people, no matter what people they live to be.

My Generation Pt. 3

We are the first generation to make less money than our parents.

We have the degree, but lack of experience forces us to work

Menial jobs at Starbucks and Sears, which allows us to

Only slowly pay off our student loan debt and car payments. No handouts from our parents.

Our motivation is slowly eradicated as to help out Big Brother

Keep up in check, keep us dependent on him.

Keep us living at home and perpetuate our childhood well into our thirties.

We are the first generation to be enthralled by the mindlessness of

Twitter, the Kardashians, and Marvel movies (that keep improving from the predecessor).

We rush ourselves to rumor weeds and gossip,

Maybe to alleviate the pain of our meaningless existence.

Or perhaps due to boredom to kill an afternoon.

Not acknowledging or accepting something in our real life is what we’ve learned from Hollywood and Netflix.

We strive to be Abed instead of what our grandparents’ religions taught us.

We are the first generation to grow up on Totino’s pizzas and PopTarts,

Even ignoring our personal health at times.

Sitting in our sedentary lifestyle playing WoW with a bag of Lays Sour Cream & Onion.

Skipping the gym to sleep in and ignoring our growing gut.

We are the first generation to realize our kind has been damaging the planet with

Temporariness and wastefulness of plastic bags and wasting enough food to feed a small impoverished nation,

And we’re beginning to see the error in our ways.

Don’t forget, we are creatures of progress and evolution,

And thanks to caffeinated beverages, we can grow faster so to make the difference.

Lagging Jealousy

Sick of myself addict.
The Ex returned to home page,
Jet lag fueled rage.


Fear of more debt?
No more justification?
Old memory returned.

Post Battle Analysis

The ghost of the e-girls still haunt my habits.
"I'm feeling fine for the time" runs through my head robotically,
Claiming those claims we are all supposed to say.

The financial planner, in the back of the mind,
Gives an oral presentation with handouts and graphs showing
The quarterly plan from the impulse influence.

Hoping the meeting would bring on physical pain
To force me to be fully aware of how my consequences conspired against me,
And killed the original banker's plan for frugality.

Perhaps being thrown back into the cubical can
Squash the semi-detrimental desire I can't keep justifying.
Maybe it's fine, maybe it's not.

Addiction to Distraction Disorder

Loose focus on the importance.
Don't be patience,
Just change the channels quickly--there's nothing good on anyway.

Pace yourself back and forth, to-and-fro around the room
To keep your heart rate up.
Play and replay massive amounts of action-packed video games
To give yourself an impulsive character about you.

Battery levels are low,
The coffee's effect is waning.
Recharge or just let the power run out completely to a dark, blank screen?

Returners & Stayers

When they go back to the place they came from,
Why do those here still miss and morn them?
They are at peace and in no pain.
The pain and emotions stay with us still here,
As if passed down like an heirloom.

Transform and transfer those feelings back into memories
Of the passed on people.
Continue to live on for them, or as them,
And possibly with them, listening to their
Messages of love and wisdom in whichever
Means of communication form they like to use.

Keep your ears open for listening to all,
Keep the feet walking,
Keep the mind wondering.

You are loved by the ones who created and molded you into the person you are today.

Poetry in Thoughts

The hawk flies away and will be fine; finally left alone and safe.
Yet, why are the helping agents the ones in trouble? Can the eyes
Of the law not see their will, their actions?
Do the ends truly justify the means?

Calm and peace, with a side order of salad to go. Sipping
Tea softly and saying the words you were told to memorize as a child
One at a time, as if a spoken word version of a famous rap song.
There are commas everywhere.

------

Scene change to a desert,
Another hipster place for half-ass meditation.
Snowfall and anticipation don't mix as well as you'd think.
It would be a terrible drink,
But good for short-term memory loss.

And there I was,
Citing 3 advantages about firewalls.

I am a half-punk doofus.

------

The longer time moves on, the further
Away the past is on my mind. Always forgetting
Or never remembering with the purpose to avoid the tears.

I never want to listen to the advice of those promoting
Discipline and Structure.
I'd call them overrated, as a joke.
But even jokes come from a significant amount of truth.
Pious or hedonistic take your pick because the world says living in the middle can't be a choice.
But I've never been one who listens to the voice of reason or popular demand.

Will I always be torn between the light and the dark? -paraphrase of K.R.

You have to travel to the past occasionally to remember where you've been.
As painful as that is for me, it keeps me balanced when I run too far to one side or the other of the
Mandala.

The Blonde's Album #4

Much Later On,
On the dark side of the street,
A small glimmer of sun shines on my face.
A spark of epiphany and realization on the past enters
Giving me what I need after countless months of uncomforted sitting.
Finally, some more clarity came to me and a much needed moment of personal history.

Onward/Forward,
With a remembrance of the past,
The voice of my youth returned in archaic form.
Telling me, encouraging me, aiding me in my progress.
Even he went through the same experience, and his voice comforts
Me when I hear and know that. A nice reminder that we are all the same at the core.
And we all have the energy, the know how, and the drive to change the ways of the past for a better tomorrow.

Sunday Afternoon Mediation

It's so easy to fall into the routine and forgot to reflect on the day.
I forget the patience I gained and the development I've grown through on a daily basis during the long year, while
Letting the trifles and time wasting acts take over the day's hours.

But when I let go of the world, that I fall way too deep in, I can feel the past connections I had and begin to truly meditate on my basement the young cheetahs fear to scan and survey.
More clarity will come, more than that has already arrived.

Reflection To My Social Community

How does one truly tell their community they changed with their actions? Since I've been muted from their conversations, there is little to none attention given to me, even the necessary ones.

Reflection does not always do the trick.
I can't see if having porch time with poetry or
Christian/Buddhist devotions will lead to survival and success of the spirit,
But it doesn't take a genius to claim I mucked up some aspects due to
Not fully understanding my identity.

During the quarter life crisis era, I did what one would expect:
Dated a 19 year old, tried new drugs, bought a Ford Bronco, learned to skydive with no fear.
But examining the life I lead until now, led me to lethargic Sundays
Spending the day in front of a screen to burn out my eyes and delay my brain to focus on the
Importance. Epiphany never comes in as a rushing river, with thought after thought, but only a drip at a time. I hate this most, but you can't learn everything all at once. Time, Patience, Energy, and Work to gain the final goal.

Where else can I gain the support and love I once had?  To not only gain, but give it back Reciprocally.
Love them as they loved me.
Patience, Obi-Wan once said to my naive young mind,
But I never became fully patient. Always wanting to look foreword to the horizon when I paid no Attention to the present.  Always wanted to be the Force carrier and user without the training Required.
Please don't give up on me Father.
Keep my feet moving,
Keep my mind wandering,
Keep my eyes seeing, and
My hands helping.

I'll always be the Johnny Cash, to my June Carter.
The Vader to my Padme.
Her fearing me, and I constantly ignoring her teaching me the error of my way,
And never noticed or appreciated till later,
And there lies the tragedy of my life.
Never one to take heed of the lessons I experience of the classroom LIFE.

We all still deserve love and forgiveness, as long as we know what is expected of us to do with that gift.

Talking to Girls in the New Age

While sipping my bedtime tea, I sat on the porch to ponder over my day.
Thinking of the day, and how much I actually accomplished rather than the
Amount I set the goal for. The thought came to me that
Life events take significantly longer than we expect.
School, dating, marriage, employment, even death sometimes.
Our world is all about patiences;
It loves to give us inhabitants experience with waiting patiently.
Some don't take kindly to it, and expect all parts of life to come up as instantly
As a high speed internet browser that wont crap out even on the windiest of days.
Others learn the importance of patience being a virtue,
Instructing them on the beauty of waiting, for it gives them time to
Reflect on life and smell some sweet roses.
Yet others solely look at patience as a necessary evil,
Knowing they must wait, but still cannot focus on the here and now,
Always the next step of what is coming.

Act, stop, Reflect, prepare, act again.
The cycle of healthy thinking.

Do it or don't do it, but make sure you know why you are doing either one (it becomes part of your ID).

I'm Done

There is nothing more to do.
I have torched the bridges between us all completely.
Nothing left to say. Nothing left to do.
Just take one last look while I ash my cigar, letting them fall on the ashes of the charred wood,
And keep moving my feet in a forward direction (choose carefully).
The obliteration complete,
The once flourishing green meadow is now brown and burnt,
Void of all life.

This is what I leave behind to the world.
This is my legacy.
Pain, suffering, hatred of my being,
All above are the strongest aspects of my identity.
All who have crossed paths with myself feel this given to them.

Love? Not here. Just a warm pistol of hatred and loathing.

There is still hope though, isn't there?

Her

She led me to insanity.
At least that what I say to justify my actions.
No woman truly has made me act in this manner, which makes think
That she is still the perfect girl for me.
But I can't forget that I'm still young and naive,
A child at heart.
And I still don't know several aspects of my identity.

She made me insane and I can't shake it.
How do I repair this? Is repair even possible?
What will I need to forget her totally?
Run Away?!
Always on the side of flight my mind is.

A Piece of Prose Poetry About Life

Life is constantly full of transitions, periods of change.
We need to embrace them, and not reject them.
Being a species of evolution, consistency and stable sameness should not be our goal.
We need to move on to our next phase and period of our ever-changing lifestyle and culture.
Warning: Do not just sit and be sedentary--that leads to disease and early termination.
That is not what I, nor anyone should, desire.

The cruel joke of life is that one day you cannot do what you once did.
Entropy is the only constant in this world.
From the meanest ant, to the wealthiest human, we will all die.
All we can attain is to leave some kind of legacy, something for others to remember and recall us by.

This is what many writers, poets, and artists before me learned.
There is necessity for art in our world so we take the time to appreciate what is beautiful and lovely in our world--to remember that life is beauty.
Even with all the ups and downs, all the messiness embodied here, life is beauty; you can find examples of that METAPHOR in every corner, every river bend, every place you go.
There is beauty in life, and there is beauty in you.

Suburbial Bliss

A late start this morn.
Flapjacks on stove with bacon.
Time for family.

Paria

Paria Paria,
Where have you been?
Always running away from your fears and
Eating any scraps thrown at you.
Her bones are tired, her muscles weak,
There is much more behind little brown eyes than you can possibly imagine.

Paria Paria,
What have you done?
What are the trials you have faced?
Any accomplishments? Any discouragements?
The world is not kind to the low and mean.
There are few comfortable being charitable,
And giving all they have. Even the charity cannot
Drain themselves fully for the aid of the need.

Paria Paria,
Why did you leave?
What caused you to run from the life you were given?
Not enough cats to chase, or sickly scraps to kill the
Stomach twinges?
Was there a master who drank from the bottle too frequently?
The world is cruel and miserable, but we must rise above the misery
And keep sights on the positive and joyous to combat the negative and painful.
We will succeed, but we must be patient.

These Days (Redux)

We continue to move and worry on the trifles, with
Few moments of the grand themes of life.
What would happen to us if we constantly dwelled
Our thoughts on the big things? Would our minds be pushed
Too hard and break down as the pontoon's Civic engine?

Perhaps this is the reason the persons of this world, nay,
This nation, put their thoughts on the topics that don't matter.
'Tis the easier of the two, and our country loves the
Easier ways (at least these days).

The world is too much with us, that much is true.
The Voices of intelligence knew this too well, and
Saw us traveling the path we have taken and
Continue to drive on. There are few of us left
Who see the world through unclouded eyes;
We live life the proper Romantic way--Balance.

"Keep the Balance" is what my mentors instructed me to do.
We can't stay on one side more than the other,
Otherwise we risk loosing our personal nature and identity;
They would crumble and fall as the statue in David's dream.

Rest and fight equal amounts, and life will be bearable.
We can find those with similar ideas, just as anything worth wile in this world,
We just have to work and persevere though the pain, and the payoff will be sweet.

Keep the balance, and keep your feet moving.

Blood-Apathy Level

(Something I wrote a while ago)

Apathy is in my bloodstream, and it never leaves its home.
My body, the vessel that holds the liquid of not caring,
Allows the apathy to enter through the mouth,
Or, more commonly, through the ocular cavities via
audio-visual insertions
They take you in and never let go.
Always harming your work ethic.

Alone

With my thoughts on the line between sane and insanity,
I live with the remembrance of my aspired one.
The emotions of my pants come and go, but
I still evolve in my identity and personality.

Stay with me electronically; any connection is more desired than none.

Welcome Back

The days are long now.
I awake at the winter's dawn, but the outside's brightness shines full blast through the partially covered window into the boxed room.
The smell of fresh rain storm hits my nose after I step up from bed.
I instinctually walk towards the pot of black caffeine and pour it into my thrift store mug.
The coffee touches my lips and I begin the wake-up process.
However, there is nothing to wake up for today.
There is little to do until the work begins,
So I shall enjoy the vacuum of responsibility while I have it.
Just sit and watch the scattered thunderstorms through the window with the coffee at hand.
Feel the rest and recuperation, and prepare for the coming storm.