How does one truly tell their community they changed with their actions? Since I've been muted from their conversations, there is little to none attention given to me, even the necessary ones.
Reflection does not always do the trick.
I can't see if having porch time with poetry or
Christian/Buddhist devotions will lead to survival and success of the spirit,
But it doesn't take a genius to claim I mucked up some aspects due to
Not fully understanding my identity.
During the quarter life crisis era, I did what one would expect:
Dated a 19 year old, tried new drugs, bought a Ford Bronco, learned to skydive with no fear.
But examining the life I lead until now, led me to lethargic Sundays
Spending the day in front of a screen to burn out my eyes and delay my brain to focus on the
Importance. Epiphany never comes in as a rushing river, with thought after thought, but only a drip at a time. I hate this most, but you can't learn everything all at once. Time, Patience, Energy, and Work to gain the final goal.
Where else can I gain the support and love I once had? To not only gain, but give it back Reciprocally.
Love them as they loved me.
Patience, Obi-Wan once said to my naive young mind,
But I never became fully patient. Always wanting to look foreword to the horizon when I paid no Attention to the present. Always wanted to be the Force carrier and user without the training Required.
Please don't give up on me Father.
Keep my feet moving,
Keep my mind wandering,
Keep my eyes seeing, and
My hands helping.
I'll always be the Johnny Cash, to my June Carter.
The Vader to my Padme.
Her fearing me, and I constantly ignoring her teaching me the error of my way,
And never noticed or appreciated till later,
And there lies the tragedy of my life.
Never one to take heed of the lessons I experience of the classroom LIFE.
We all still deserve love and forgiveness, as long as we know what is expected of us to do with that gift.
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