Depression-spell Meditation

Give me the time to sit and think on how amazing and discouraging life honestly is.
Life, the coin.  I feel the 50/50 probabilities in each moment I am conscious.
What comes to mind is the deep dark chthonic cave I throughly desire to retreat to in order to hide from my wicked mind.  That way I can rest fully and adequately.  When can I return to the top half of the mandala and fight the dragon and her little beasts with my full strength and skill.
To prove to them all I can live hard and fight hard.
The Voices tell me:
No one in the world gets what they want and that is beautiful, 
Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful. 

My personal Tara keeps me positive and content in the stupor life is.
Without her, I cannot work well with others.
discover with the beauty found in the mud ridden filth of this world.
Reside within the beauty and solely learn to cope with the rest.





Reference to They Might Be Giants as the Voices

The Pipe Dream

To live out in th' hudo*
Away from the hustle and bustle of the city.
That's where my body and soul can be at peace.

Even if I get stained with grit and stinged with sweat,
It will be real living and my body will need it.

To live out on th' mountainside,
Away from people and their vanity.
To work long days fielding and climbing,
That's where I need to stay.



*Hudo is countryside in Mongolian

Birdhouse in your Soul

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

I have a secret to tell
From my electrical well
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
So the room must listen to me
Filibuster vigilantly
My name is blue canary one note* spelled l-i-t-e
My story's infinite
Like the Longines Symphonette it doesn't rest

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

There's a picture opposite me
Of my primitive ancestry
Which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free
Though I respect that a lot
I'd be fired if that were my job
After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts
Bluebird of friendliness
Like guardian angels its always near

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

(and while you're at it
Keep the nightlight on inside the
Birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're at it)
Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're at it)
Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul